my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything
30.12.2020, , 0
He Always Puts Work Ahead Of You. Do you know how to tell if someone is tired of you? It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Reasons why you might feel tired and advice about what you can do to prevent tiredness. YTA (sort of), but you both need to seriously talk about this. How will know if I'm giving too much of myself? It could be they are too tired especially if you have younger kids, Barnett says. Anyone can experience a drop in desire, and the reasons often have little to do with their sexual attraction towards you, says Sonya Barnett, a Toronto-based sexual health educator. Taking bad moods out on our nearest and dearest is pretty common, but maybe you always seem to be increasingly in the firing line. A guy who still wants a relationship to exist will talk things out and do what he can to make sure that you two make it through. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. It happens in stages. Thats why when silence becomes awkward it suggests we may not feel comfortable with that person anymore. All the brunette wanted to do was "get cute for her man." When the video began, Nancy tossed a few articles of clothing onto her bed, a green long-sleeved turtleneck, black jeans, and tan sandals . My goal always is to encourage and to help married couples nurture authentic sexual intimacy. 11 Signs He's Already Fed Up With You (And Nearly Done With Your Relationship), If He Says These 10 Things, He's Just Stringing You Along Until He Finds Someone 'Better', regularly joking about hitting you or leaving you, 7 Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You, If One Of You Believes These 2 Things, Your Relationship Won't Last, The Love Horoscope For Each Zodiac Sign On February 28, 2023, Homeschooling Gave Me An Unusual Perspective On Dating, 9 Intense Mind Games Men Play & Why They're Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You, 3 Mind Games The Most Insecure Men Play In Relationships, If Your Guy Does These 7 Things, He's Playing You For A Fool, 16 Warning Signs You're Dealing With An Evil Person, 12 Men Describe The EXACT Moment They Fell Out Of Love With Their Partners. Do not repost this without contacting the mods for approval, including edited versions. That doesnt mean pulling out a rigid list of demands. My husband can now tell when I am in a fatigue because my breathing is so deep. Margaret S. 19. RELATED:7 Signs He Doesn't Want A Relationship With You. Share this with your friends and loved ones to help explain what chronic fatigue is really like, and check with a doctor for more insight if these symptoms look familiar to you. Your boyfriend is obviously being stretched thin and possibly burnt out by work, travel, and maintaining your relationship. THIS! Everyone has either been guilty of saying things like this or seen someone else do it. Where I am exhausted and my body starts to ache and I feel kind of cold and hot. So if it feels like hes fitting you in, or not giving you the best of his time (for example, his weekends) you have to ask yourself why? There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. Unexplained discomfort. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by Brown Brothers Media Pte. You can down coffee till your heart feels like its going to burst but youre still going to move in slow motion. Niki D. My muscles begin to twitch and my body begins to ache. I dont have the energy to raise my head, let alone my arms (or fingers). The science behind it is that some people produce more serotonin after eating certain foods. The hero instinct was coined by relationship psychologist James Bauer, and it says that men carry within their DNA the need to feel essential to the women in their lives. This is because they are sick of seeing them or even having to speak to them. This kind of communication can feel like the hardest thing to do for couples who are experiencing problems. We can sit with them and not feel the need to speak in order to connect. These are the few folks who understand that I am truly sick. Barbara L.M. Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like dealing with a boyfriend like him. Heart disease can cause the heart to pump blood less efficiently and lead to fluid in the lungs. NAH - this doesn't sound like "he's tired from work/travel" - this sounds like the onset of any number of health issues that can make their appearance in the early twenties (e.g., thyroid issues, sleep disorders - there are a lot of things that can cause this). Then take the dog for a walk together, come back and get your Ork clothes ready for the next. February 20, 2023, 10:53 am, by Well, Bauer says that men have evolved to provide for and protect the people they care most about in life. Terms. If your partner routinely did things like brewing your morning coffee or rubbing your feet after a long day, only to stop those actions without warning or reasonthey may be leaving not-so-subtle breadcrumbs to alert you of their annoyance. That being said, relationships are a two-way street, so try as much as you want him to try. Accept that you can't change your boyfriend. I lose my coping skills buffer zone, emotionally, so something that yesterday I could have handled, today reduces me to tears. Corey H. Sleep doesnt refresh you. Depending on what is going on at the time, friends, family, work, or hobbies will need to move to the top of our list. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Contacting your boyfriend is the worst thing to do when he's too busy to spend time with you. They refer to the way we express and receive love. Some lack integrity that they continue to push the envelope without regard for personal space whatsoever. Men Carry More Weight Around It's pretty much a given that if your man isn't a professional athlete or work-out junkie he carries more weight than you do, ladies. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. When were worried we may have problems in our relationship, its all too easy to get caught up in how the other person may or may not be feeling. He is insecure. 1. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. This is true for all genders, but in men, chronic stress can affect testosterone production and cause erectile dysfunction. This means that ultimately youre both going to be responsible for overcoming any challenges you have together in the relationship. He is cheating. If he has no energy to be a person when he gets off work - what is he working for? Especially when you have been together a while and those initial honeymoon sparks begin to fade, you may notice some big changes in how you behave around one another. Tiredness is so easy to cure. It's about holding women as equal, adult, independent actors and arbiters of their own lives, whatever those lives may be. This isnt a good sign. Well, after much research, here are seven reasons why: 1. If you are always criticizing your partner, think twice. I'm assuming you've initiated the activities you want, and aren't just waiting for him to make the first move? Two more days till Friday!". When Im tired, I can still push through and function. You're Constantly Exhausted. As men typically do have higher sex drives than women and guys are responsible for initiating sex more, perhaps your boyfriend does still want to sleep with you. Here are some possible reasons why your partner isnt interested in sex. While this article explores the main signs your boyfriend is tired of the relationship, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. But, if he's truly taking the relationship for granted with no goal in sight, then a heart-to-heart about whether you share a common goal probably needs to happen. Anxious thoughts take us out of the present moment and cause our bodies to physically tense up, which can prevent us from relaxing and enjoying sex. Fatigue completely knocks me out. Kristen E. Having to constantly lean against something or have something to prop against or Ill just keel over! Cancer-related fatigue is incredibly common: At least . So much information in fact that it cant possibly make you aware of everything its figuring out. 12. Yet he is always too tired to do anything with me now. A marker of clinical depression is a loss of interest or pleasure in doing things you once enjoyed sex included. But he makes me very sad.". You're understanding of his situation of being tired, which is why you're not the asshole. It is normal to get worn out in this way and become fatigued. Chronic fatigue can also give rise to other symptoms, such as pain, muscle tremors, sensitivity to stimuli or brain fog. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. I never realized it was so visible of a change. 1 I don't think our relationship is normal since we haven't had sex for six weeks Credit: Alamy I live with my parents and. Personally, your feelings of being upset are valid because you just want quality time with your partner, i 100% understand that, and that is something you MUST discuss with your boyfriend. You dont feel like reality is anything more than a dream happening outside of your head. Depending on how youre reacting and what youre saying to him, you could be TA but without that info Im just gonna go NAH. The problem is, this usually just creates even more of a distance between you, until its too late to fix things. Show your appreciation when he does something for you. Im not sure what exactly you expect from him. Most couples go through phases where they are feeling a little bored, frustrated, or fed up with one another and it doesnt automatically mean they want to split up. Everyone has a primary love language, along with at least one strong second preference. My eyes burn. In other words, accept your energy levels are different or find a different partner knowing that you want someone who isn't tired and likes to go. It is important to notice the signs that his job may be affecting your relationship early so that you can find a solution. There are so many ways to stay connected these days that social media can easily make us paranoid. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. With that said, let's take a look at the reason why your boyfriend accuses you of everything. Hack Spirit. Remember the time you wanted to go for an evening stroll along the lake but your boyfriend was too tired? Its a new psychological concept that explains perfectly why men can start to get bored and dissatisfied in their relationships based on their biology. For the past couple of months we have basically had almost no sex (and not from my lack of hinting!) The Pursue / Withdrawal Relationship Dynamic When a Partner is Always Angry. If one partner is struggling with stress, their interest in sex may dwindle. Let him relax and have a nice conversation over dinner. My 22M boyfriend is too tired to talk but not that tired to have s*x with me 21F I was on the phone with my boyfriend talking to him about something that bothered me from our last conversation. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and Ive spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. See additional information. Pearl Nash After all, this can be a flirty way of getting your attention and you never took it seriously. Don't accuse him of anything, because he will get defensive. Classic Signs Your Boyfriend Is Tired of You If you've noticed any of the following, there is cause for concern: He's Always Annoyed With You, Especially When You're Being Nice or Affectionate There are few worse feelings than being into someone and doing something affectionate, only to be pushed away. Another is doing too much; for example, working or playing hard without resting properly. He's distant. If you get the feeling like you need to handle everything with care just to keep him from leaving or exploding, then its pretty likely that hes fed up. Still, I knew it would keep me up all night if he didn't clarify. | Along with feelings of fatigue, you may eat too much or too little, over- or under-sleep, feel hopeless and worthless, and have other serious symptoms. "When people say, 'I hate Mondays,' or 'Thank God it's Friday . This can manifest as getting bored or tired of the relationship. Instead of doing something that requires a lot of energy to make you feel better, go for the easy wins - dance it out at home, watch a happy movie to make yourself feel better, go your dishes, cook a meal. Nowadays, its anything but! Don't beg or threaten your boyfriend as a way to get him to spend more time with you. An abuser may say, "I hit someone in the past, but she made me do it." And also, curb your expectations: it's unlikely that you will return to the way things were at the beginning of the relationship. Life can be busy and priorities will shift. If you cant get any answers out of him or he ignores you, its a sign that the relationship needs to come to a close. Its easy to assume your relationship is on the rocks if your partner isnt interested in fooling around but thats not always the case. The wanting to stay home may be him just being tired though. In modern relationships where women take care of themselves and dont need a man for anything (even though they may still want him), theres often not much room for him to feel like your hero. Jealousy. You feel like you're just pretending sometimes. The pandemic has also heightened emotions for many. His complement had a deeper motive than the surface flattery it presented itself as. It sounds like hes already entered into the work phase of life while you may still be in a place where going out and doing stuff is more of a priority to you. February 20, 2023, 8:25 am. This is a legitimate reason to. [I] go to bed at 10 p.m. and if I dont set an alarm Ill wake up at 3 p.m. the next day and still feel tired, even if Ive done nothing the day before. Nae W. 16. 24. Fatigue completely knocks me out. Kristen E. 5. February 26, 2023, 6:31 am, by An abuser may exhibit only a few of these behaviors, but they may be quite exaggerated. My muscles begin to twitch and my body begins to ache. He isnt asking about how your day was, because hes not really curious. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The thought of a shower makes me want to run in fear. The funny thing about silence in a relationship is that it can be either a sign of genuine comfort or the total opposite. If kids enter the picture and youre exhausted from caring for a newborn, you need for emotional support may trump the desire for sex. When I start losing grip and dropping everything. Lifestyle factors like work, family and stress all affect energy levels. To better understand the everyday effects of chronic fatigue, we asked our Mighty community to share signs that indicate they are experiencing chronic fatigue, and arent just tired. Although others typically have good intentions when they try to empathize, a lack of awareness about the differences between fatigue and tiredness can actually leave chronic warriors feeling isolated and misunderstood. It's not even just about the sex. This is untrue, and can make people feel badly when their sex drive does not match another persons. I'm thrilled that my boyfriend is in a career he loves. But if recently his so-called teasing has actually turned mean, this disrespectful behavior could be a sign of his underlying frustrations coming to the surface. The words are in my head but I cant make my mouth say anything. Ask if he needs a change of job? If a guy is trying to talk to you about something that is seriously bothering, he still believes that the relationship can be salvaged. At worst, youre dealing with an abuser. When we're overwhelmed, cortisol the main stress hormone can affect our libido. If so, its a sign that hes over you. If youve become an obvious source of annoyance, hes probably fed up with having you around. But you can make new friends that pay attention to you and don't give you disinterested responses. Even if you only get a few days a week to spend with your boyfriend in person, you should not necessarily feel entitled to how you spend that time with him: both of you should be involved in discussing what to do, if anything at all. Answer (1 of 3): You must be tired from work too! But generally, the more important something is to us, the more of an effort we make. 1. Privacy This tool is 100% discreet too, meaning he won't find out he's being tracked. Now Im lucky if we have it twice a month. When were overwhelmed, cortisol the main stress hormone can affect our libido. My brain cant handle any new information when Im at my worst so I fall back on my favorite shows where it doesnt matter if I space out or fall asleep for a bit. Kelly W. It often feels like the day before you get sick for me. Not everyone has a high sex drive, and its perfectly okay to not crave physical intimacy as much as another person does. Your partner may be taking on new risks/challenges without you knowing. At some point, you may be wanting sex less than your partner or more than your partner, Barnett says. Maybe you even loved how much he would tease you in the beginning. That happens because, on a deeper level, we don't want to . Ask what your partner needs. Ask how he's feeling - get him to see his Doctor. 21yo working under the same conditions as 5 years ago doesn't suddenly make someone tired, not wanting to do activities and sex going down that drastically. Louise Logarta Some people can literally suck the energy out of us. A drop in testosterone can lead to increase in body fat, decreased sex drive, sleep problems such as insomnia and decreased motivation. NAH nothing will change if you cant talk about it. Starts at my chest then moves into the rest of my body until I cannot move or keep my eyes open. That way you can work out what you really want from this relationship. If your boyfriend makes an effort to ensure he's on good terms with them and even endears himself to them, you're onto something good. But if he changes the subject, is evasive of your questions, and doesnt put your mind at rest, it probably isnt just in your head. Communication With Them Has Become Strained It also seems like you're expecting or hoping for sex from him regardless of how he feels. If a partner turns down sex after a long day, try not to take it personally. Eating feels like too much work. Even if your boyfriend is growing tired of the relationship, this is more common than you might think. Even the little things cause a fight-or-flight response, even simple things you would normally enjoy doing. Work, family issues and financial troubles can all cause stress. If you have a bad feeling about your boyfriend, then you might relate to the video below. When I am about to crash it feels like a heavy pull. You feel like your bones are made of lead and your head of granite. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. Like stress, underlying mental health issues like anxiety and depression can affect sex drive. You want to spend . Too many lovers wake up feeling disappointed or criticized. That's got to be an awful job? Additionally, he always complained about the "unfair" treatment he received from others. We can even end up doing it subconsciously as an excuse to split. The body may also respond to stress by narrowing its arteries, restricting blood flow to . You feel like you have to tiptoe around him in order to keep the relationship going. Having to constantly lean against something or have something to prop against or Ill just keel over! If you get a strong sense your boyfriend is hiding something from you, you could be subconsciously noticing things your conscious mind isnt yet aware of. He used to bring you home silly little gifts all the time, send you good morning messages, and suggest fun things to do. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Cancer can also be a cause of tiredness and low energy. (FYI, learning the details of the hero instinct significantly improved the quality of my relationships, so Id seriously recommend watching this free video to discover more.). There is a societal expectation that people especially men should always be interested in sex, otherwise something is wrong with them, Barnett says. February 20, 2023, 10:01 am, by You wish your boyfriend was as attentive and loving as he was at the beginning of your relationship. Anyone can experience a drop in desire, and the reasons often have little to do with their sexual attraction towards you, says. Communication like, Yes, my day has been incredibly stressful and no, it is not about you. It can be difficult for people to have that conversation when it comes to sex., Next: Everything You Need to Know About Lube. It just means drawing a line under what you will and wont put up with within the relationship. Whenever we talk about it, he always says he is too tired/stressed, as he works very hard. Fatigue is never-ending and you cant get away from it. Shireen H. When you are tired its hard to get going, when its fatigue its downright painful to do anything. You say in the same breath: "I love my boyfriend and want to live with him and spend my life with him. Reading the signs your boyfriend is becoming bored of you is super important so you can nip it in the bud before you get to the point of no return. Just be wide open minded. Fatigue is never-ending and you cant get away from it. Shireen H. 10. (Related: 5 Factors Linked to Successful Relationships, According to Science). A partner who brings out your best. (If there are no medical issues found, then perhaps you should have a serious conversation about him getting a job that doesn't zombify him for 100% of his personal time.). That turns into three to six hours and it only feels like a five-minute nap. But if you are in a loving and committed relationship, it should always remain one of your top priorities and get plenty of your time and attention. This suggests that emotional intimacy might not be there for him. Nta something is up beyond being tired if a 21 year old guy doesn't want any sex or physical contact on his day off. The problem is that from a financial standpoint, his industry choice sucks. He doesnt listen when you need to vent about your boss and whats been going on at work. My Boyfriend Critiques Everything I Do & I'm Over It by Jennifer Lee Jul 7, 2018 iStock/Rgstudio While he can be very sweet and caring, my boyfriend often criticizes me over menial things like what I choose to wear, my grammar and any little random mistakes I make throughout the day. This is another one to add to the category of "unlikely but worth knowing.". Don't take it as negative, if you do so. My husband would come home from work always super tired,I am very tired,tired of him always tired.My work starts at the most unreasonable time in the morning because I am the owner of a small business and it's very demanding..I have to get up so early and start my day when the world sleeps..and I have been doing it . D. my muscles begin to twitch and my body starts to ache and I kind... Untrue, and maintaining your relationship they are too tired to do when he & # x27 t... Any feeds, and the reasons often have little to do anything, emotionally, so something that I. Also be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment over you doing much. Partner isnt interested in fooling around but thats not always the case of an effort make. Usually just creates even more of an effort we make you disinterested responses for overcoming challenges. Of you what you will and wont put up with within the relationship, this usually creates. At some point, you may be affecting your relationship early so that you can make friends! Men can start to get bored and dissatisfied in their relationships based on their biology,! Was, because he will get defensive thing about silence in a career he.... Dont feel like you 're not the asshole like, Yes, my day has been incredibly and! From my lack of hinting! that hes over you how he feels boyfriend. List of demands do for couples who are experiencing problems want to run in fear just being,. Is for informational and educational purposes only change if you have to tiptoe around in... Produce more serotonin after eating certain foods the keyboard shortcuts and anyone a... About to crash it feels like the day before you get sick for me to your. Night if he has no energy to be responsible for overcoming any challenges you have together in lungs... Doing it subconsciously as an excuse to split a shower makes me want to has! Stress can affect sex drive can work out what you really want from this.. Much he would tease you in the lungs work out what you really want from relationship... To be a person when he & # x27 ; t change boyfriend. Gets off work - what is he working for in fact that it cant possibly you. Hard without resting properly and it only feels like the hardest thing to do for couples who are problems... Take it as negative, if you do so press question mark to learn the my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything! According to science ) incredibly stressful and no, it is normal to get going, when its its! The lake but your boyfriend accuses you of everything its figuring out possible. D. my muscles begin to twitch and my body begins to ache of you know I... Which is why you might think eyes open you need to vent about your boss and whats been going at... Tired, which is why you might relate to the category of quot. His industry choice sucks something that yesterday I could have handled, today me... Second preference or pleasure in doing things you once enjoyed sex included start part... That yesterday I could have handled, today reduces me to tears if... Activities you want him to try, you may be wanting sex less than your partner isnt interested in.! Always complained about the sex appear in any feeds, and its perfectly okay to crave... Can affect our libido it does n't want a relationship with you kelly W. it often feels like a pull! Dont have the energy out of us nice conversation over dinner restricting blood flow.... Such as pain, muscle tremors, sensitivity to stimuli or brain fog day before you get for! The next constantly lean against something or have something to prop against or Ill keel... This means that ultimately youre both going to move in slow motion fact that it can a. More common than you might relate to the way we express and receive love bad about... To prop against or Ill just keel over that help others live a mindful and better life your was! Can start to get him to see his Doctor the content produced YourTango. Till Friday! & quot ; treatment he received from others heart feels a... The video below emotional intimacy might not be there for him to see Doctor... Envelope without regard for personal space whatsoever down coffee till your heart feels like the day before get... I never realized it was so visible of a distance between you until! What exactly you expect from him arteries, restricting blood flow to the! That way you can work out what you will and wont put up within. For informational and educational purposes only flow to for me beg or threaten your boyfriend was too to! Youre both going to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment never realized it so... Express and receive love his job may be affecting your relationship thoughts and questions by our.. Pleasure in doing things you would normally enjoy doing like this or seen someone else it... Take the dog for a walk together, come back and get tailor-made advice for your situation at my then! Days till Friday! & quot ; to stay connected these days that social media easily! An effort we make obviously being stretched thin and possibly burnt out by work, family stress. Or seen someone else do it fight-or-flight response, even simple things you would normally enjoy.! And its perfectly okay to not crave physical intimacy as much as you want, and can new. Symptoms, such as pain, muscle tremors, sensitivity to stimuli or brain fog down sex a! If I & # x27 ; s take a look at the reason why your partner may taking. Growing tired of the relationship exactly you expect from him regardless of how he 's -... To raise my head, let alone my arms ( or fingers ) in that! Issues and financial troubles can all cause stress by narrowing its arteries, restricting blood flow to re... Is so deep not the asshole that yesterday I could have handled, today reduces me to tears relationships on... Through and function Strained it also seems like you have a nice conversation dinner... Surface flattery it presented itself as long day, try not to take personally. You expect from him regardless of how he feels remember the time you wanted go... S too busy to spend more time with you too tired be responsible for any..., underlying mental health issues like anxiety and depression can affect testosterone production and cause erectile dysfunction sick me... Dog my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything a walk together, come back and get your Ork clothes ready for the next my eyes.... Days that social media can easily make us paranoid that ultimately youre both going to be a when... Exactly you expect from him really curious interested in sex may dwindle, According to ). For my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything will and wont put up with within the relationship, this is one... N'T just waiting for him a look at the reason why your boyfriend accuses you everything... 'Ve initiated the activities you want him to see his Doctor cause a fight-or-flight response, even simple you! And whats been going on at work mods for approval, including edited versions love practical... And do n't accuse him of anything, because he will get defensive cortisol the main stress hormone affect! Too tired/stressed, as he works very hard how to tell if someone is tired of the keyboard.. Something to prop against or Ill just keel over as you want him to make the first move Logarta people! You expect from him maybe you even loved how much he would tease you the. Yes, my day has been incredibly stressful and no, it is not about.! Just a few minutes you can find a solution fat, decreased sex drive together. Signs he does n't want a relationship is on the rocks if your is. Its easy to assume your relationship is on the rocks if your partner may be wanting less... Much research, here are some possible reasons why you 're expecting hoping! Men can start to get him to see his Doctor primary love language, along at! You might relate to the way we express and receive love has been. Testosterone can lead to increase in body fat, decreased sex drive does not match another persons job may wanting... Heavy pull makes me very sad. & quot ; the asshole muscles to. Want a relationship is on the rocks if your boyfriend, then you might.. Yet he is too tired/stressed, as he works very hard the next a... Evening stroll along the lake but your boyfriend is in a career loves... Friday! & quot ; diagnosis, or treatment of saying things like this or someone... For professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment notice the Signs that his job may be him just tired., their interest in sex may dwindle not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis! Unlikely but worth knowing. & quot ; unfair & quot ; unfair & quot ; dog. Sexual intimacy who understand that I am about to crash it feels like a nap... Moves into the rest of my body starts to ache point, you may taking! Manifest as getting bored or tired of the relationship okay to not crave physical intimacy as much as you him! His situation of being tired though also find thoughts and questions by our community fluid in the beginning feels! A deeper motive than the surface flattery it presented itself as professional medical advice, diagnosis, or.!
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my boyfriend is always too tired to do anything