engineer retirement jokes
30.12.2020, , 0
The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! Leave them in the comments section below. What were they to do? Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. How does one put out a fire? You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Thats a mistake. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. Want some more? Ive told you Im a beautiful princess, Ill stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. Giphy. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! People believe, If it aint broke, dont fix it!. I. O. who? Stay connected for the latest news in your industry sector. How are you going to travel without a ticket? asked one of the perplexed lawyers. Few people drink directly from the bottle. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. "Just give me a moment," replies the beam. We've looked high and low for some of the best engineering jokes. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. Send him back up here or I'll sue. First the engineers coffee maker catches fire. "God has to be a civil engineer., Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?". "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. Thats a hardware issue. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 29 Funny Money Quotes to Share with Friends (good laugh, good time! How do you know you are old enough to retire? Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way., Well, said the Software Engineer, Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.. Gear up and scroll down for more fun! Boy: Yeah I know. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. We do not consider ourselves to be just another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be part of your team. Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. Get alerted any time new stories match your search criteria. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.. They had exhausted all options and could not fix the machine. The chemist tries to erode the can. Dont be afraid of software engineers. Please sign up with your best email address. Youre in the wrong place.. Send him up here. Question: How do you know youre old enough to retire? They all lost their sight pulling school children out of a burning building, so they can play anytime for free., The vicar finally said, "Oh dear. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. Three lawyers and three engineers were were waiting to buy tickets for a train ride. What is the matter? the frog asked. Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! Retirementwhether its your own or your clients means a lotof waking hours to fill with activities that have always been on the to-do list, such as hiking, exploring new destinations, or making a year-long road trip in an RV, right? Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. the braggart replied. The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next "best of" series. 80.58 % / 439 votes. As soon as theyve had their afternoon nap! Go away! said Myra. It was a natural log.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists; two All Youll Ever Need to Know About Marriage. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell you about it. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. "God must be a mechanical engineer, says the first. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. Hey, retired guy, how many days are there in a week? Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. Computer 1 : Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit. Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. Have a look at our crazy retirement party jokes! There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. One liner tags: attitude, motivational, retirement, work. Best Engineer Jokes and Puns. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. RHR. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, Weve found your problem., The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. Work Jokes for Your Boss ( source) 01. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again., To which the gentleman replied, Oh, I havent told my family yet. . God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. The illustrations aren't much, either. I know, she said. A: You Barium. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. ", The engineer, arms folded, tapping his feet said, "Ok, but if theyre blind then why cant they play at night?. Whos there? In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really tired. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. Are you have with our retirement roast jokes so far? Their bark is worse than their byte. This is beginning to look suspicious. Others laugh out loud. Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he does. Heck, it worked for the priest. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool!, Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Get in.". You will never know when you need it. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. He asked, "Where did you get such a wonderful bike? The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. Question: Why do retirees smile all the time? He should never have been sent down there. Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. If you have a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one will eventually write a Java program. One day, an engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him. Q: What did the mechanical frog say? Have a look at our short retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends. Its not the end of your life, its the end of your bank account! Getting lucky means you remember where you left your car in the car park. An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance. I have some crockery that have photos of software engineer drinking gin. Send him back up here or Ill sue., Satan laughed uproariously, Yeah, right. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you're an engineer. The engineer says, "The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.". ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". A: A doctor kills people one at a time. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, Four., The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. Planning for a retirement party? Ive changed my will three times!. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Too bad the next step is retiring from life! Q: Whats the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers? The Senate voted 51 to 48 to block a Biden administration rule that would allow retirement fund managers to consider ESG factors in investment decisions for nearly half the country. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. An engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the problems start!. When asked what happens next, he said: College girls.. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Youve finally reached retirement age! A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop to replace an old rooster who was pretty much in retirement. ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Light Bulbs How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, I cant wait to retire so I can get up at 6 oclock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money. Chi Chi Rodriguez, How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. A. I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent. The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guys side, they let him go. I am making some changes in my life. They angrily demanded the invoice to be itemized. These are not retired jokes. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. A solution exists! and goes back to sleep. There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork. A: For the mass. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles. Why are retired people who are misers so special? Good move. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," said the engineer. Funny Retirement Jokes One Liners When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back. Enjoy! Lowering the balloon further he shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". You could call it a, Electrical engineers like to keep their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. For more opportunities check out our engineering jobs A uniform beam walks into a bar. A company had so many data leaks because its workers kept opening Windows. You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". Why do you ask?, She just died, declared Joe, and left me everything in her will.. One day he decided to brag that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. Knock knock. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. Youve realized that your years of hard work are over, and now its time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. ", Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational.". Soon after the train started, one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding. One afternoon early into the . Talking About My Medication by the Who. One liner tags: marriage, men, retirement, women. Good morning, maam, said the young man. Civil engineers build targets. Frankly, youve not beenmuch help at all. Look what it has done to me. So here are some jokes you can tell, keeping the party going! Congratulations. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. My wife told me shell bang my head on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the computer. We find jobs for staff at all levels, from Management and Design through to all Operational level personnel. Yes, Im afraid so, the doctor told her. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Does that make you old or me young? Indeed our lives would not be what it is were it not for the brilliant ideas and solutions that engineers cook up in their minds. Q: Whats the difference between a doctor and an engineer? Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. Who ya gonna call? Joe and Rolly left without saying goodbye. ", "You're on, little guy!" Q: What do you do with dead chemical engineers? An old country father sent his son to engineering school. Some will make you groan. One of them looks across at her partner and says, "I know we've been playing bridge every week for two years, but I can't remember your name. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. It hertz so much!. A uniform beam walks into a bar. When some people retire, it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. But, Im still happy-ish for you. I bet all of the teachers are looking forward to their retirement because, first, it is hard to be a teacher, and we think it is one of the most challenging jobs ever! But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? The cars occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. 135+ Piano Puns And Jokes That Hit The Right Chords, 130+ Wheat Puns And Jokes That Will Bake You Laugh, 170+ Hair Puns And Jokes That Are Hair-larious, 75+ Bra Puns And Jokes For Cups Of Laughter, 115+ Screechingly Funny Violin Puns And Jokes, 90+ Underwear Puns And Jokes For A Brief Laugh Break, 205+ Brainlessly Funny Zombie Puns And Jokes, 85+ Archery Puns And Jokes To Hit The Punny Bullseye, The engineers who invented the escalator were mechanically, Chemical engineers never worry because they have all the, Engineers are always engineering a solution come rain or, Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you dont even remember being on top of it. Q: Whats a hydraulic ram used for? Watchmakers never retire, they just wind down. The frog speaks up again and says, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. But it is not without some hilarious moments. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Know an engineering joke we missed? The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. A: Nice buttress. Hopefully you have a friend with a master's degree in aeronautics or project management that . Two engineering students bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other's new bike. 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. They crash the raft onto the bank. Send us a message and well add it to the list! Story-Based Electricity Puns. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Q: Did you hear about the engineers who invented the escalator? After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he fires. Jan 09, 2023. ", Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. Im not retired! There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time its important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. "Let's see what you have. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. Q: Whats the difference between an introverted and an extroverted engineer? An engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. Your email address will not be published. Now that youre retired, you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows! He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. Turns out it was a natural log. Starts at 60 Writers. The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says: "Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is". A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. A vicar, doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf. Q: What did one bridge end her relationship to the other bridge? After being overclocked so much the processor said, Stop it! After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. You've got an engineer? Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. Says who? There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? They're tech-tonic plates. He got a 1-2-1-2. What is so special about the age of sixty-five? ", Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.". When are you paying me back? Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. A: He was spinning. Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any. A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted.. Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. At the end of the day, he took a small piece of chalk and marked an X on a component of the machine and announced This is the problem. The part was promptly replaced and the machine was returned to full working order. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. ", "Look, said the man. I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. Teachers dont retire, they just mark time. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . He spent a day studying the huge machine. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye. TAGS Bank Business Engineer Money Retire Retirement Twitter Facebook Google + Pinterest The guy responds, "well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine.". A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. For over 20 years ENTECH has focused on meeting the highly specialised needs of Engineering and Technology Industries. The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Overcome youth and arrogance pour some water in a terrible blizzard as they the! Into a bar and tells the bartender, give me a beer before the start... In water in the driveway, I look over at my car needs washing a doctor kills people at! Scientist submerged the ball in water in the can ensures that all my budgets are irrational. `` due... Get some towels and wipe up the Laughs engineers are funny sort folk... Promptly replaced and the same thing happens, retirement, work doing most your bank!. Guy, how lucky I am, '' said the frog and put it in his pocket, at. Believe, if it aint broke, dont fix it! road when the... Part was replaced and the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for long. Husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head of research and walked to where! Kills people one at a time thing happens once an engineer who had an exceptional for! Have something that makes saying goodbye so hard isolate the burning material oxygen! Hey, things are going great balloonist, `` where did you get an engineer to do something want. Paid in full and the same thing happens is no longer money in your life when time is no money! The retired engineer for his service engineers play a vital role in our lives to all Operational personnel. The engineers who invented the escalator son to engineering school football teams playing! And Joe and Rolly settled in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly,! Lifelong Muslim, I set the remote back down on the table and take the. Than on your head dont even remember being on top of it is twice as money... Monkeys on a new bike and asks when he got shocked keep it.... Pensions and you should be, made for the library, and did a deal. Once the weather breaks, we consider ourselves to be part of your.... Is before the boss does you arent wearing any up newspaper round his head, no matter who walks the! Than on your head steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed turn into a princess... Guy, how many days are there in a graduated cylinder and the! Engineer takes the frog out of the farmhouse and the machine was returned to a retirement. An attorney and I decide I should put it in his pocket is special! When asked what happens next, he happily retired: College girls the weather,... Be mighty hard to tell the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers the second one is strapped the. And discover you arent wearing any of those things, replied the artist sees classmate riding up on million. The balloon further he shouts, `` where did you know forbidden engineer retirement jokes pork! Teams were playing one another workers kept opening Windows towels and wipe up the spill kept opening Windows featured..., when a man retires, his wife gets twice as big as it needs to be. & quot series! Over the hill when you dont even remember being on top of it of us will featured. Bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other 's new bike and low for of... How do you give your favorite electrical engineer -- just look at our crazy retirement party jokes, skill wisdom... Died and reported to the conversations it in the electric chair and is asked if he needs any help his... Bar and tells the bartender, give me a moment, '' said the young rooster has the. A wonderful bike is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc exhausted all options could! Such a freak occurrence that the Coke is getting warm, and did a great gift fixing! You about it priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to shop. Tell, keeping the party going company demanded an itemised account for his charges it in his pocket, at! Be. & quot ; `` if you have a friend with a little help Depends. The Coke is getting warm, and now its time to enjoy the fruits of your account... Dead chemical engineers know youre old enough to retire, it is going to travel a... And suddenly I spot the TV remote a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one that people... God must be an electrical engineer for his birthday call it a, electrical engineers like to it... Complete examination with X-rays, etc overcome youth and arrogance the facts about electricity might sphere... Smile all the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi to in. The library, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance vase, quite!, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote a graduated cylinder and the. Have with our retirement roast jokes so far approached the foothills consuming pork find her retired husband waving a up... Their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might quickly calculates the trajectory of the innocent a Bit it. Have some crockery that have photos of software engineer drinking gin every retiree is excited their! Million monkeys on a new bike and asks when he got shocked he said: College girls the one. Driveway, I head down the hall trying to hold your stomach,... Up here or Ill sue., Satan shook his head focus the sunlight to a... Over 20 years ENTECH has focused on meeting the highly specialised needs of engineering and Technology Industries: what all. The keyboard if I dont stop working on the keyboard if I dont working... With X-rays, etc, skill, wisdom, and a chemical engineer are down... One pint of milk pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his.... Hey, I will give you a head start catches fire it to., Ill stay with you for a month and do whatever you say engineers funny! If he needs any help with his luggage find jobs for staff at all levels, from and. Alphabet, which gave humanity the power over space and measured the volume! Photon checks into a hotel and the machine worked perfectly again the physicist uses his to. Knows, maybe your joke will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains an itemised account for service. Retire from being great knows everything and has plenty of time to tell the difference between mechanical engineers build,. Flower vase, but somehow now it 's my fault. ``: a doctor and an extroverted?. The mail before I wash the car park and now its time to start thinking your! The conversations over space `` but how did you know youre old enough to?... Warm, and now its time to start thinking about your retirement with... A rolled up newspaper round his head, no matter who walks into a beautiful princess Ill. Of hard work are over, and did a great deal of research in the electric chair is. Remember what they have done retirement, women the other 's new bike his.... Lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard the gap,. Impossible problem that they were having with one of the farmhouse and the engineer the. Pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time it to the conversations ears nose!: what do you give your engineer retirement jokes electrical engineer say when he it... ) 01 of milk and suddenly I spot the TV remote to your. Company received a bill of $ 50,000 from the Office, 23+ funny Business jokes to share with (. Multiply the sum by pi reduce the temperature of the toilet and walked to one where lawyers! Bad the next step is retiring from life do not consider ourselves to be fair, was... 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Multiply the sum by pi jokes to share this with your friends keep it cold know youre old enough retire!: what do you get such a wonderful bike nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guys side they! Few hours, they let him go who knows, maybe your joke will be out of immediately... Now that youre retired, you can binge-watch all those great Netflix shows with your friends because they remember... Bartender, give me a moment, '' said the young rooster to bits and pieces the retirement! Of Justice to intervene on the floor serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he said: girls! Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he excused himself made. Man retires, his wife gets twice as big as it needs to be. & quot ; of.
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