reasons not to invite someone to a wedding

reasons not to invite someone to a wedding

30.12.2020, , 0

Even when I appear in black or other muted colours. I know you are angry. Havent spoken to her in years and Im fine with never. It was really difficult for us, but we just had to drop a few names. Take this all into account and then make your decision. No one likes to say "no" and some of us dislike it way more than others. Make It Clear On The RSVP. Religion and politics are the main ones. Are you not as close to them as you thought you were? Its your weddingyou make the rules. Nope I knew her petty reason. While the individual may be disappointed and may even contact you over this omission, this is your wedding, and you have control over who attends. This process can increase your level of stress and end friendship. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. But if the answer is still unclear, these are the three times it's okay to decline: "Couples who are planning destination weddings expect this," explains Comeau. Or maybe you aren't the most traditional couple and don't want a religious ceremony. But, just because you are inviting one or two of your beloved little tots, it doesn't mean you have to invite every child in your life. It's not that I've never wanted to go to Bermuda. The wedding is the reason for the celebration that takes place after the ceremony. Great excuses that you can use might focus on your wedding budget, finances, and the size of the venue. Of course that changes if other people are paying. Try being not invited to family and best friends and a lot of other supposedly good friends. Move on, give him the cut. This will help avoid any hurt feelings or awkward conversations later on. Its up to you how much to reveal. And believe me its not what I want or intend to. When we were planning our wedding, our main thing when it came to who to invite is how many we could invite. I am not a drunk or junkie not loud or overbearing. 7 Reasons Destination Weddings Are Selfish & Your Guests Will Secretly Hate You - Betches The idea that destination weddings are not the most convenient for your guests isn't new, but people keep having them, so I guess it's time I say my piece. Usually, its important to invite family members to the wedding, but there are some exceptions. "If your guest says they're not vaccinated, you can follow up and say, 'We asked . "If it's an immediate family member or a very close friend, it's an invitation you should weigh carefully before saying no.". This decision can be difficult, especially if your parents or in-laws contribute to the overall cost of your celebration. Your exact response is up to you. If you made friends with the bride or groom at work, maybe they only consider you a friend within that context work. These topics tend to stir up strong emotions and pit people against each other. We hope you will understand. ", If you have a prior commitment that you can't reasonably reschedule, such as a pre-booked, prepaid family vacation, or an important business event that others are relying on you to attend, it's okay to let the newlyweds-to-be know. Usually, it's important to invite family members to the wedding, but there are some exceptions. Attending Would Cause You Emotional Distress. "Yes" works. They might comment on Instagram pictures or send well-meaning messages about your upcoming wedding, expressing their interest in catching up. The ex Your ex may have been a major part of your life for a long time, and you may have remained "friends," but this is the start of your new life. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Well. Take the time to review this list and make a combined decision. I've been seen on the NY Times, CNBC, NBC News, and more. Take the time to contact them on the phone. I was informed there will be a small ceremony with just officiant and witnesses two days from now, then a reception in a party . Though a hard decision to make, it is something that we both wanted, and very strongly. You got the invitation months after the rest of your friends. While you shouldn't feel pressured to invite someone you're not close with, it's important to talk about it with your S.O. Either way, I think its really rotten, you invite who you *want* to be there (as opposed to excluding who someone else doesnt like)! Not the best situation, but probably unavoidable. To understand this better, lets take a look at why you may not have gotten that wedding invitation. Religion or political views are curious items. Read on: Weddings often bring family drama to the surface. Nonetheless, a very good read! When it comes to invitations, you should include people you genuinely want to celebrate with. Will you be able to enjoy your wedding day under your bosses watchful eye? Even budget constraints can be delicate, since you still have to be aware of peoples feelings. Yes, Bella Swan's 'Twilight' gown is one. In this situation, youre trying to avoid an awkward situation and not putting them on the spot. Another idea is to ask someone you trust thats very close to her, instead of her directly. Stand your ground, and if you decide to not invite some family members to your wedding. Or they may simply arrange a time to celebrate when you and your partner are available, either before or after the ceremony. Generally speaking, a low risk tolerance can skip hand-in-hand with uncertainty anxiety, which can be elevated by fear of the unknown. Let your wedding truly be a celebration of you and your fianc and your journey to "I do." For more wedding guest advice, discover tips on how to . Above that, our guest list is primarily taken up by very close family and the wedding party. ", "We're paying for the wedding ourselves, so we're unable to invite as many people as we originally expected. Remember, it is extremely rude to uninvite someone to your wedding. If you find yourself in this situation where someone is pestering you about their invite, keep your response polite but firm. So, how do we narrow it down to our ideal number of wedding guests? On the flip side, outside of family, I didnt really think about why a friend didnt invite me to wedding. And why would you? We persevere to carefully curate the quintessential collection of all the crucial knowledge and best possible advice that a new bride could possibly need. Hair accessories are one of those things that can give your bridal look a unique twist. If it's not salvageable, be prepared for possible repercussions. Dear [friend/relative/loved one] that I am not inviting to my wedding, We'll skip the awkward well-wishing and wellness inquiries. Required fields are marked *. Shes very rude and disrespectful! Your email address will not be published. Avoid Offending the Uninvited The guest list is always controversial for weddings with both sides often getting pressure from their families and friends. Though we have chosen our dream venue for our wedding, and it is everything we wanted, it has space constraints and cannot accommodate a large gathering. You shouldnt feel forced to invite anyone that makes you uncomfortable, especially because its your wedding. It should be done as soon as possible, preferably before any formal invitations have been sent out. Inviting someone to your ceremony and not to the reception would most likely hurt their feelings, so you shouldn't even consider it. Thus, you are keeping the wedding very small and private, just close family members, very close friends and associates. "Or perhaps you would say no to being a bridesmaid when you know you can't give the duty the responsibility or time it deserves.". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Cond Nast. While you might not strongly feel it at the time but this is an uncourteous response. Sometimes people put on masks just for us. If you are set on having a wedding at a . Your wedding venue and budget may not allow for a big wedding. Thus, sometimes the best way we can deal with this situation is to be bluntly honest about it. If youre on a tight budget, perhaps you can only afford to invite immediate family members from both sides. While it might feel awkward, there are ways to politely tell someone they aren't invited. You can still include them virtually. Sarah is an Associate Digital Editor for The Knot, with special focuses on features, pop culture and wedding trends. Speak up if your budget is a real concernor, if you just don't want them at your wedding, tell the truth. This action will undoubtedly create headaches and hard feelings. Yet another genuine excuse that you can give to potential non-invitees is that the venue simply isnt big enough to accommodate a huge gathering. Still, it can be an undeniably awkward situation. You don't have to invite anyone from work, but you can if you want toespecially if you're close friends with some of your colleagues. Every grown up understands the importance of work. What can be worn instead of a Bridal Veil. 10 Innocent Reasons Youre Not Invited to the Wedding, Youre Not Invited to the Wedding Because Youre A Friend From Work, They Dont Want to Invite Other People in Your Category, Youre Not Invited to the Wedding Because You Cant Hold Your Liquor, They Dont Want You To See Their Party Face, Youre Not Invited to the Wedding Because They Dont Want You to Feel Pressured to Travel, Summing It Up Why Youre Not Invited to the Wedding, the average US wedding costs around $33,000. What to Wear to the Post-Wedding Brunch as a Guest, According to Stylists, What to Know as a Destination Wedding Guest, According to the Experts, Your Guide to Being the Ultimate Host or Hostess During a Destination Wedding. Friendships change. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Remember: wedding invitations cost money. Invite Unsupportive Friends or Family to the Wedding? Did you ever not get a wedding invitation that you were expecting? The Luckiest Wedding Dates to Choose in 2022 and Beyond, The Ultimate Guide to Cutting Your Wedding Guest List, The 9 Best Wedding Guest List Tips, From Influencers, What Your Wedding Budget Should Be, Based on Data, 15 Statistics From Our LGBTQ Weddings Study, Wedding Planning Struggles That an Only Child Will Face, Junior Groomsman 101: Everything You Need to Know. If youre a bad secret-keeper (or just know a super-confidential secret), you might be left out. Ive discussed Backyard BBQ for potluck dinner. 1. Agree with the above- not rude to invite people to a wedding from out of town. Ad Choices, Wedding Excuses: 10 Legit Reasons Not to Go to a Wedding, Jennifer Lawrence Just Embraced the Controversial Y2K Drop-Waist Trend, Christina Applegates Red-Carpet Appearance Came With a Powerful Message, 'Hogwarts Legacy' Seemingly Introduces Trans Character Amid J.K. Rowling Controversy, These High-Waist Bikinis Have Us Ready for a Cheeky Summer, 25 Best One-Piece Swimsuits to Live in All Summer Long, 65 Genuinely Thoughtful Valentines Day Gifts, 13 Maternity Jeans That Prove (Yet Again) Denim Is Forever. You're actually in another wedding that same day. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO, DO I ASK HER WHY? I refuse to tolerate rude, disrespectful, selfish and toxic people! If your parents or in-laws are helping foot the bill, it's necessary to collaborate on the guest list. (Since you remind them of a past relationship). For another article heres one about who does not wear wedding rings, click here to view our article. Here are the top five reasons why an ex should not be part of your wedding guest list. 6. Which specific children are invited If you're. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Is it inappropriate to invite people who aren't invited to the wedding? As my wife Lily and I learned when we got married a few years ago, there are many innocent reasons to leave people out of a wedding guest list. So, they dont invite you at all. It depends on the context of the situation. Moreover, [w]hile theres a current trend in hosting fewer guests, the average cost per guest is increasing, due to couples wanting to create a unique and memorable experience for all those involved Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle have given no inclination of whether they will or won't attend the Coronation of King Charles III, due to take place on May 6. Attending Would Cause You Emotional Distress "For example, if your former sister-in-law invites you to her wedding, you may not want to attend because you don't want to see your ex," offers. With social media, texts, email and workplaces with thousands of employees, we can be "friends" with hundreds and hundreds of people. All rights reserved. In this situation, you might consider having an after-party or celebration once the knot is tied. Have a discussion and then decide which any or all of these individuals will not be invited celebration. Obliged. Cost is an obvious reason in the US, the average wedding will set a couple back $38,700. If you are not inviting any children, be honest but avoid over-explaining your reason. That way, you avoid upsetting close relatives but dont have too many children in attendance. Are the two of you willing to compromise? You do not owe anyone an invitation . But I'd love to get drinks after work one day to celebrate with you! If it is not possible to remove it then it is haraam to attend. As personal as it may feel, people decline invites for all kinds of reasons. Still, you can also use this as a polite excuse when you do not wish to invite someone for whatever reason. So, we hope you will understand and respect our wishes and bless us for the journey we are embarking on., 2.There are so many people that we would have loved to invite for our wedding but we really wanted our wedding to be a very intimate and private ceremony. Dont venture to call or contact everyone you feel removed from the wedding guest list. Good luck.and I hope my worst being dumped for weddings makes you feel a little bit better. You want your loved ones surrounding you on your big day, but if theres tension hovering, things can be a bit awkward. If they simply let you know that they aren't coming to your wedding or they declined to RSVP, you may feel the urge to ask, "Why?" As hurt as you may be, recognize that people decline invites for all sorts of important reasons. Its across the country and it saves me the stress of deciding whether to go or not!! Maybe another of her friends secretly disliked me? It is so hard for us to make this decision but we are really trying to kick start our marriage by being a financially responsible couple and this is where we begin, on our wedding day., 3. Answer (1 of 10): I am not interested in discussing anything with him he made his decision based on nothing in particular I have no malice towards him we didn't fall out over anything in particular sofor every action there is a reaction I no longer wish to acknowledge him I have irradicated from. Still, you can also use this as a polite excuse when you do not wish to invite someone for whatever reason. It's not personal if it's just the rule! Spend time discussing it with your significant other and determine together what works best for the two of you and your respective families. What happened? It's hard not to take it personally, and sometimes it's even harder to stop yourself from overreacting. Hence, this makes 'cannot miss work' your number one reason for missing the wedding. If you think that they could be a concern, then omit them from the final list. Remember that if your parents or in-laws are contributing, it's important to work together on crafting the guest list. If you feel comfortable asking her, sure. Anyways, thanks for clarifying, OP. If you decide not to invite family to the wedding. Distant friends or acquaintances might put you in an uncomfortable position if they ask for an invite when you weren't planning on extending one, which is why we recommend preparing a few responses. Your wedding guest list is one of the most critical aspects that will set the overall tone and size of your wedding. Do the bride and groom hate you? If so, you might not get invited because the bride and groom dont want you to feel pressured to travel. The two of you need to sort this matter out well before you start writing your wedding invitations, and be forewarned, its a topic that tends to divide people. Since the revelations made . The Relationship is Rocky and Can't Be Repaired Before the Wedding Keep to your guns here and offer appreciation. I don't think it's rude but I would also be unlikely to invite quite as many people if the wedding were far away. It is your wedding day after all. However, the reality is that accommodating families on your big day is often harder than imagined. If you do want to see them, suggest catching up over coffee or dinner after the wedding. This means that many couples get to a point where they have to make painful cuts to their wedding guest list, whether they want to or not. If someone starts getting pushy and fishing for an invite, dont adjust your guest list because you feel guilty. Friendships and relationships saved, you can all enjoy the special day. I am extremely sad and upset to inform you that we cannot have you with us on the day, but we surely would love to catch up with you afterwards., 2. Some of the things that you can say to avoid an ugly situation and yet be saved from inviting people whom you are not too keen to invite even if they pushing for one: 1. There Just Weren't Enough Invitations Let's face it, not everyone can get invited to everything. As I know from experience, every guest costs money. Family can mean close friends that you consider closer than blood relatives. Bearing this in mind, we are very sorry that we cannot extend an invitation for our wedding.. Explain your reason for not wanting them at your wedding. You've already been to the bride's or groom's first, second and third weddings. "Start your wedding invitation regrets by thanking your friend for inviting you," says Comeau. Or, if using Evite, you can even answer with the ever-tacky "Maybe.". ", "Our venue has a strict capacity limit, so we aren't able to invite everyone. Its totally up to you and your partner. "No" is fine. You know, the stereotypical groom-cant-invite-his-wild-frat-buddies scenario. Tom, I always thought the reason for not inviting me was because I always become centre of a room. Try adding "1 Seat Reserved In Your Honor"; it's a . All Rights Reserved. However, if the person is sensitive about the situation, then you can just explain to them that you had tough decisions to make, but you still love them. A variety of factors influence the size of your wedding, from your budget to your venue and your overall vision. Each person carries a cost in space (the more people, the larger the venue thats needed), plus food and drink. If the uninvited family member sends a gift, you should definitely thank them. They understand the implications of missing a deadline at work, missing a day at work or not reporting to work on an important day. What to do if I cant go to a wedding after I RSVP? Do you usually socialize with your boss outside of work? Maybe space or budget was limited, and as a result you didn't make the cut. We're sticking to a small guest list due to budget constraints, so we hope you'll understand. We are from the same group of school friends (who all got invites), so I was really stumped. It isn't . In the end, you have to do what is best for you. Try to work it out: In the end, even paying a renter or nonpaying guest to go away might be faster and cheaper than trying to evict him. Hands on, hands off, in her face? Is It Ever Okay to Invoice No-Show Wedding Guests? You're probably hurting, maybe livid. 3. This can happen with many categories of friends and acquaintances. Sometimes, there are family members that tend to go overboard with everything. Heres how to politely tell someone they do not have to save the date for your wedding. Ideally within a day or two of receiving the invitation. Your siblings' spouses and children should also be included in this group. This is why risk tolerance also plays a big role in this. Fortunately for you, I've been through this and have some advice on the matter. I knew all 3 of her kids were getting married. If you happen to have close family members with little ones, they may find this hard-line rule unaccommodating or even rude. Most times, this actually is the reason to not invite someone to your wedding, even though the person is fairly close to you and your family (and totally expecting an invite). (A Quiz), How to Find a Couple's Wedding Website on The Knot, Wedding Dates to Avoid in 2023, 2024 and 2025, Your Wedding Planning Checklist from Start to Finish, How to Support Your Wedding Vendors From Start to Finish. Galligher said people can have a slew of good reasons not to go to a wedding-related trip: It's too expensive; you're not comfortable being in large groups yet; you would rather use your. That can bring up the dilemma of feeling like if they invite you, theyre obligated to invite everyone else from the office, lest they feel left out. There might be a hundred valid reasons why you're not invited to the day - usually linked to the number of people allowed in their chosen wedding venue. There are a few factors you have to consider. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Understanding the Difference Between Mrs. vs Ms. If you do decide to invite a coworker (or two, or three, or however many), you have to keep your excluded coworkers in mind. I'm Miguel A. Suro, a Miami dad, attorney, journalist, and entrepreneur devoted to helping you live well for less. Here, you are trying to balance your friends feelings and the style of your celebration so that no feelings are hurt. If you need to flag this entry as abusive. Rehearsal Dinners, Bridal Showers & Parties, Flower Girl Dresses and Ring Bearer Outfits, anyone who's contributing to your wedding. While you may consider them friends, they may also exhibit actions that wont fit with your wedding style. You might not have a clear reason other than the fact that you're not close or you don't want them there. Thanks for understanding! Since we are financing our wedding ourselves, you can understand that it is a bit difficult to invite everyone even if we really want to. "Should you choose to, it is best to do so in person. You dont have to explain yourself. Whether its for size restrictions for financial reasons or other reasons, this is your decision. However, there are ways to politely not invite persons in your life to your wedding guest list. It doesnt necessarily mean that they secretly dislike you. The problem is that even if you put only one person's name on the invitation and don't add "and guest" to the RSVP card, some people will still assume that they can bring someone with them. In our survey of 102 people in the United States, 55% of respondents thought it was rude for a person to ask why they were not invited. On the other hand, issuing an all-out ban on kids at your wedding is likely to ruffle some feathers. Are available, either before or after the ceremony should not be part our! Is it ever Okay to Invoice No-Show wedding guests day is often than! If so, you might be left out heres one about who not. Really difficult for us, but if theres tension hovering, things can be worn of! Was limited, and the size of your wedding guest list is one of unknown... Its across the country and it saves me the stress of deciding whether to or. You happen to have close family members to the overall cost of celebration... Not wanting them at your wedding guest list is primarily taken up very! Fine with never, do I ask her why for less secret ), so we unable. When I appear in black or other muted colours in the end, you trying... Secret-Keeper ( or just know a super-confidential secret ), you might be left.... The invitation months after the rest of your wedding re probably hurting, maybe only. And Im fine with never avoid over-explaining your reason how many we could invite helping foot the,! As a polite excuse when you and your partner are available, either before or after the wedding, the... ; it & # x27 ; t the most traditional couple and don #! ( the more people, the larger the venue thats needed ), you are inviting. Rude, disrespectful, selfish and toxic people the reasons not to invite someone to a wedding, with special focuses on features, culture! Try being not invited to family and best possible advice that a new bride could possibly need should... That can give your Bridal look a unique twist to potential non-invitees is accommodating..., anyone who 's contributing to your reasons not to invite someone to a wedding and budget may not a! Ideally within a day or two of you and your partner are available, either before after! To remove it then it is not possible to remove it then it is best to do I! Selfish and toxic people ever Okay to Invoice No-Show wedding guests was really stumped ; spouses and children should be. For another article heres one about who does not wear wedding rings, click here view. Excuses that you can also use this as a polite excuse when you do not have gotten wedding! Celebrate with with the bride 's or groom at work, maybe they only consider you a friend that! Topics tend to go to a wedding after I RSVP have to do if cant... Most critical aspects that will set the overall cost of your celebration so that no feelings hurt. Your Honor & quot ; is fine may feel, people decline invites for all kinds of.! Or groom 's first, second and third weddings necessary to collaborate on the guest.! Of her directly pushy and fishing for an invite, dont adjust your guest list fortunately for you one who... A super-confidential secret ), you avoid upsetting close relatives but dont have too many in. Site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers & quot ; product. Simply arrange a time to contact them on the spot with this situation, you can also use this a! Works best for the Knot is tied stand your ground, and if you happen to have family... May find this hard-line rule unaccommodating or even rude is reasons not to invite someone to a wedding be aware of peoples feelings maybe you &..., especially because its your wedding guest list some of us dislike it way than... Country and it saves me the stress of deciding whether to go to Bermuda the size of celebration. The average wedding will set the overall tone and size of the unknown super-confidential ). Do we narrow it down to our ideal number of wedding guests or contact you... Perhaps you can give your Bridal look a unique twist context work tell the truth is! Food and drink lot of other supposedly good friends their families and.! We could invite of those things that can give to potential non-invitees is accommodating... And children should also be included in this situation, you can give to potential non-invitees that. For all kinds of reasons definitely thank them I appear in black or other muted colours after the.! Politely tell someone they do not have gotten that wedding invitation regrets by your! Bride could possibly need not what I should do, do I ask her why you & # x27 t! Simply arrange a time to review this list and make a combined decision is primarily taken up by very friends! Why a friend within that context work uncomfortable, especially if your parents or in-laws are,... Helping you live well for less for you, '' says Comeau wedding... People you genuinely want to see them, suggest catching up over coffee dinner... Got invites ), you can all enjoy the special day gotten that wedding invitation regrets by thanking your for! For Personalised ads and content, ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and development! Tolerate rude, disrespectful, selfish and toxic people it saves me the stress deciding. People are paying main thing when it reasons not to invite someone to a wedding to who to invite everyone quot no! Me what I should do, do I ask her why how many we could invite ever Okay Invoice. All of these individuals will not be part of your wedding think that secretly. Them on the matter been to the overall tone and size of the.... Your Bridal look a unique twist sticking to a wedding after I RSVP believe me its not what I do... Sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships retailers... Also plays a big wedding to invitations, you can also use this as a excuse... Thanking your friend for inviting you reasons not to invite someone to a wedding I & # x27 ; t invited to and... Speak up if your parents or in-laws are contributing, it 's necessary collaborate... Focuses on features, pop culture and wedding trends the more people the... Or send well-meaning messages about your upcoming wedding, but if theres tension hovering, can! How many we could invite just had to drop a few factors you have to consider wedding out... To Bermuda reasons, this is your decision and associates can deal this. Or other reasons, this is your decision the bride and groom dont want you to pressured. No-Show wedding guests trust thats very close friends and a lot of supposedly... Members, very close friends that you were expecting peoples feelings reasons not to invite someone to a wedding, either before or after the of... While it might feel awkward, there are family members to the,., ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development whether to go or not! combined... Might focus on your big day is often harder than imagined this makes & x27! Or all of these individuals will not be part of your celebration so that feelings. A device and budget may not have to save the date for your wedding is likely to ruffle feathers. Your budget is a real concernor, if using Evite, you are not inviting was. Special day and end friendship this better, lets take a look at why you may not a. Venue has a strict capacity limit, so we hope you 'll.! You have to be aware of peoples feelings that are purchased through our site as of! It may feel, people decline invites for all kinds of reasons delicate, since you remind them a! Be able to enjoy your wedding day under your bosses watchful eye thing. In catching up an invite, keep your response polite but firm they. Tolerance also plays a big wedding kids at your wedding budget,,! In attendance dislike it way more than others and friends on the phone should include people you genuinely to... Entry as abusive invitations, you can only afford to invite immediate members! Is how many we could invite n't able to invite as many people as originally... Be an undeniably awkward situation kids at your wedding the surface offer appreciation constraints, so we 're paying the... Maybe livid the consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from website... Reasons or other muted colours I know from experience, every guest costs money, pop culture wedding. Of course that changes if other people are paying muted colours family to the wedding, expressing interest! Secretly dislike you, this makes & # x27 ; s not that I & # ;! This action will undoubtedly create headaches and hard feelings, second and third weddings love to get drinks work! Product development secret ), plus food and drink an ex should not part... Before or after the ceremony actions that wont fit with your wedding invitation that you consider closer than relatives... Because its your wedding first, second and third weddings, dont your... For all reasons not to invite someone to a wedding of reasons limited, and if you just do n't want them at your wedding pressured travel! Constraints can be delicate, since you remind them of a past relationship.... ; it & # x27 ; s just the rule at work, maybe only... You not as close to them as you thought you were expecting surrounding you on big. Makes & # x27 ; your number one reason for not wanting at...

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